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Monday, December 26, 2005

Words of an A.A.A.D.D. Patient...

"Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. (Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. ) This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.
.... As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing.
..... As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier.
.... I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
.... I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full.
... So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.
.... But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.
.... I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only 1 check left.
... My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.
.... I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
.... As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye -- they need to be watered.
.... I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.
... I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.
..... I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.
.... I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.
.... I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.
... So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill .... Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

.... At the end of the day:

* the car isn't washed
* the bills aren't paid
* there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter
* the flowers don't have enough water,
* there is still only 1 check in my check book,
* I can't find the remote,
* I can't find my glasses,
* and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

.... Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired.
.... I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.
Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming.


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