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Saturday, September 17, 2005

Oxford Dictionary's latest definitions!

Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.
Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are
Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire
at one end and a fool on the other.
Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.
Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually
and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way
that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody
listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Criminal : A guy no different from the rest....except that he got
Dictionary : A place where success comes before work.
Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such
a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his
Etc . : A sign to make others believe that you know more
than you actually do.
Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
Father : A banker provided by nature.
Lecture : An art of transferring information from the
notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing
through the minds of either.
Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Office : A place where you can relax after your
strenuous home life.
Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally
falls into a river.
Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel tower
says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life,
to be spoken of when dead.
Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections
and your confidence after.
Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine
will-power is defeated by feminine water power.
Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open
their mouth.